Building respectful and authentic relationships
The foundation of a successful classroom is positive and respectful relationships. You dynamically empower students by investing in them and showing them that you care and are committed to their success. Here are five simple ideas for building successful relationships in your classroom.
Be a person first
Show your students that you are a person, first and foremost. Your students need to know that you are a human, not a teacher-robot (that lives at school). Be honest with your students and show that it is okay to make mistakes and to not know everything. Students are watching you at all times, watching you model behavior and interactions... model what you want your students to emulate. Show your students that you make mistakes and that you learn from them. Be teachable... because that is what we expect of them.
Here's another one that gets me every single time... When you speak to your students, speak in first person. Is there anything that distances a teacher more than hearing a teacher say, "Miss ________ wants you to sit down" or hearing "Mr. ________ is disappointed in your behavior." You are a person first... start your sentences with "I" and refer to yourself as an individual, not as a teacher.
Here's another one that gets me every single time... When you speak to your students, speak in first person. Is there anything that distances a teacher more than hearing a teacher say, "Miss ________ wants you to sit down" or hearing "Mr. ________ is disappointed in your behavior." You are a person first... start your sentences with "I" and refer to yourself as an individual, not as a teacher.
Be relevant
This is the step that requires the most research. Let's be real... there is a significant generational gap between you and your students. That's not going to change... what has to change is the approach to bridge that gap. To build positive relationships with your students, you have to be relevant. You need to know something about your students' interests. This might mean spending time researching popular Disney Channel stars or listening to music that seems completely obscure. This might even involve wearing obnoxious shoes that are all the craze or using a pop culture video clip in a lesson. Your students need some level of relevancy in order to connect with you...and it takes effort. This does not mean you have to make big life changes... it just means you need to be informed of what is relevant and what is interesting your students. Nothing will surprise your students more than hearing you recite lyrics to a popular song in a lesson (talk about engaging your students). Relevancy is constantly changing and so must we.
be KNOWLEDGEABLE
Most students (...especially elementary school) think teachers know everything. If only that were true. By being knowledgeable, I do not mean you "know a lot of information about different things." In order to build respectful and positive relationships with your students, you have to know them as individuals. You have to be knowledgeable about your students as people. Intentionally conversing with your students, learning about their interests, their goals, their hobbies, and their families shows that you are interested in them and helps you become knowledgeable. Knowing what works for your students and what motivates and inspires them provides you with priceless knowledge that can be used to promote their social and academic growth. Furthermore, being knowledgeable about your students is the best demonstration of the authentic investment you are making in their lives.
Be accepting
Acceptance is such a critical component of a risk-free and positive classroom culture. Every single student needs to feel accepted... regardless of their learning styles, abilities, appearance, or habits. Align your words and actions to show your students that regardless of their actions, you accept them as individuals and members of the learning environment. Kids are constantly learning and are going to make lots of mistakes. Accept their mistakes as opportunities to learn. Let your students know that while you may not accept all their choices or behavior, you will always accept them as individuals and valuable members of the learning environment. Accept the good, the bad, the ugly, the annoying, the distracting, and the tattle tailing. Accept your students... when you model acceptance, they will too.
Be positive
This is another challenging one... being positive in the face of the increasing pressures and accountability in the classroom. But, to build relationships with your students, you have to be positive. Your students need to know that you want to be there and that you choose to be there. Nothing makes a kid feel less valuable than being in a classroom with a teacher that clearly does not want to be with them. Be positive about your job and be positive about your classroom. Be positive in your interactions with students. Find something to compliment your students on individually... find some way to specifically encourage each student. Show your students that you see the greatness inside of them. Be positive in your discipline and correction. By spinning negative feedback into positive corrective teaching opportunities, you show your students that you are invested and committed to their learning and growth. As teachers, we want our students to have a positive perspective on life to be positive, productive members of society... it starts in our classrooms and it starts with us!